Tales From The Pleasure Gap

2 min read
Photo by Yuris Alhumaydy on Unsplash

Everybody knows the pleasure gap: your partner was satisfied, but you weren’t. When your partner doesn’t return the satisfaction, things can get pretty frustrating.

What We Need To Learn

A little bit of communication goes a long way toward erasing the Pleasure Gap. On Reddit, men and women shared stories about times when one person finished and the other didn’t–giving advice to other people facing the same problem.

The whole thread began when one user explained that the pleasure gap made them angry enough to go home: “I found it to be such a turnoff that I got up, got dressed and got ready to leave.”

Try This At Home

The best thing about the Reddit thread was that it included plenty of advice, both for people suffering in the pleasure gap and people who want to rescue their partner from the pleasure gap…

  • Make sure your partner gets satisfied first. “Everyone should adopt the ‘she comes first rule.’ That was one of the first adult things I learned in my sex life, and it’s served me well,” writes one reader.
  • Add more play beforehand. “My husband and I use foreplay, roleplay, dirty talk, oral and toys. It makes an enormous difference in my ability to come,” advised another reader.
  • Communicate better in the bedroom. “I think pleasure gaps happen when communication doesn’t, and one partner just doesn’t care as much about the others pleasure,” said one reader.
  • Use toys during sex. “A bullet vibrator is really helpful if you need a little help getting there,” added one final reader.

Have you had pleasure gap experiences? Tell us about them!

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