Redefining The Friend Zone

2 min read
Photo by Kristopher Roller on Unsplash
Photo by Kristopher Roller on Unsplash

Ethical non-monogamy recognizes the absurdity of chasing exclusive lifetime couplings and seeks to find a way of negotiating modern intimate relations in a healthy positive manner.

But what’s the alternative? The emotional sacrifice of the friend zone…

Instead of imagining and realizing a society that would promote endless possibilities, monogamy demands a constant slamming of doors shut on emotional developments.  A wedding band is meant as a warning: “Private Property. Trespassers will be prosecuted.” 

Maybe you are attracted to somebody’s humor, wit, and interests (or maybe mostly their physical allure). Once that other person enters a traditional monogamous relationship, you are required to immediately enter the “friend zone.”  What “could have been” is caged and snuffed out in its birth.   

Let Vsauce explain more about the Friend Zone…

A Polyamorous Alternative

Polyamory celebrates the ways of the head and heart by setting up no impenetrable mental roadblocks to evolving relationships.  The traditional monogamy model makes even “liking” a new acquaintance a danger to be avoided, as “liking” can be a gateway drug to “loving.” 

Polyamory is the recognition and promotion of the idea that “friendship” should not be just an emotionally restricted booby prize for losers in the “Love Olympics.”  The possibilities opened in friendships, in liking a person, should be explored and allowed to crest in either a love or continuing friendly relationship, both gratifying in their related but different ways.  Humans are more and more demanding new models for loving (and liking) that better fit their modern lives.

Share Your Thoughts

We want to hear from you!

  1. Do you think of your past romantic relationships as failures or valuable learning experiences?

  2. Do you feel you are trapped in “Groundhog Day,” or that you are attaining a better understanding of human existence with each new partner you share your love life with?

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