We recently came across this article on Sexography, in which writer Yael Wolfe outlines her sexual bucket list. The article is absolutely worth your time as the sex-positive writer explains how cultivating a healthy relationship with her own sexuality has helped her list take shape. Building your sexual bucket list is a great project to spend some time daydreaming on, plus, it can help you embrace your wildest desires! Win win.
Inside Yael’s Bucket List
We found the list extremely intriguing, including items like masturbating in front of her partner, sex in the spa, and what she describes as “shameless cowgirl.” The list itself includes some must-have items, but what really makes it worth reading is how the author describes her struggle to overcome shame and embarrassment to embrace these desires. She writes:
One of my greatest sexual regrets is that I was never able to fully allow myself to enjoy the cowgirl position. I have always loved this position, but because of the shame I’ve held about expressing sexual pleasure and my body image issues, I’ve typically frozen like a deer in the headlights once I’ve climbed on top of my man.
What’s On Your List?
Taking a page out of Yael’s book, we’d encourage investigating every potential item you add to your sexual bucket list. The more you understand your desires, the more you might realize about yourself, or about the limitations and self-imposed boundaries that have held you up in the past. You could easily turn this into a fun freewrite or journaling exercise.
Knowing What’s Not on the List is Just as Important
Yael also took the time to list some things that she has little to no interest in trying, including threesomes and BDSM. Knowing what you’re comfortable exploring and what you’re simply not interested in are both equally important, so you may want to throw on some items into the “thanks, but no thanks” category as well. Here, Yael explains her aversion to threesomes:
Until someone can prove to me that one person in a threesome isn’t, at some point, just going to be hovering somewhere awkwardly, then I’m not interested. Because let’s face it — I’d be the one sitting there, watching, trying to figure out where to insert myself. This just doesn’t seem the slightest bit sexy to me outside of my fantasies.